The Thoroughbred stallion Dynaformer died several days ago, and I was touched to see that he got listed in the local obituaries. Then I read the guestbook comments. I only got through about 31 of the 58 comments, because every single one of them.... Well, George Carlin said it best (in reference to airline announcements): "The next sentence is full of things that piss me off." All of the comments were some version of:
"Thank you for blessing us with Barbaro."
Okay.
Let's start with "immediate seating area".
Barbaro developed a fan base because the people responsible for him did not humanely put him down in a timely fashion. People somehow thought that this horse was a valiant, noble, brave creature who was facing down death because there were still things he had to do on this Earth. I'm going to go with the answer 'yeah, not so much.' It was a human decision to use every available resource to keep Barbaro alive, and it was not powered by a deep bond of love and loyalty. Sure he was a bit broken down, but he was still a colt, and the possibility of collecting off of his stud fee was just too tantalizing to ignore. It was not an epic poem of a hero desperate to continue life. It was his right hind breaking in 20 places, it was laminitis and it was a 3 year old colt dying over 9 months.
Blessing you fuckers with Barbaro indeed. Oh- just a note here- when Barbaro brought sunshine into the lives of asshats everywhere- there wasn't actually any blessings or angelic involvement. It is okay; it was just a little mix-up. See, what happened was La Ville Rouge (Barbaro's mommy) was forcibly restrained while Dynaformer (Barbaro's daddy) mounted, penetrated, and violated her against her will, at which point he ejaculated inside of her and that is where Barbaro came from! Blessing.... Spermatozoa and seminal fluids.... Same thing.
(click on the picture below for proof) Dynaformer was the sire of 1185 foals registered with the Jockey Club. I am sure that he was just trying to bring little Blessing into the world for you.
